“Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?”

“Sandoval has one walk and no hits in seven plate appearances this season.”

And then the rest of us will mention that he is a rapist.

...cream cheese, proper hugging technique, beer cans, Kobe.

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

As a sign of solidarity, Wambach’s former teammate Hope Solo murdered a homeless man.

Little Ditty with Jo and dying.

WHOOP WHOOP

The prodigal juggalette returns.

After all those years in Toronto, this is the moment where Roberto Alomar actually becomes a Leafs fan.

I think Michael Irvin is more concerned with rules on who’s holding.

I'm guessing if they can't find him he was probably an eligible lineman.

This is like a bank asking for a bailout after all their executives mishandled millions in other peoples’ money. Like that would ever happen!

The Maple Leafs are still figuring out how to play 5-on-5.

Just get him on some blood thinners, it'll stomp that problem right out.

How the fuck can I not get a job with ESPN.

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

Oh, great. Another Duke hater on Deadspin.

Well, we already know he’s drinking piss.