Firt thing I thought of, and you beat me to it!

I knew someone would post this classic. Bless you.

I will also proactively get off your lawn, just in case that’s becoming an issue. Scrolling past something is hard. 

Man I do get so much enjoyment out of the ridiculous hills some people choose to die on.

Another great thing to give to charities is actual money. The cost involved in physically processing, storing, and distributing all those donated toiletries is kinda expensive.

I think he misunderstood when the NFL said they were going to table the discussion on concussions.

If there is a baseline between exuberant celebration and disturbingly degrading behavior, these videos are a slow roller toward first that might not stay in fair territory.

My guess would be they don’t fix them on the spot, but even if they did:
- replacement part cost
- wage of worker to do the repair (prob 1-2 hrs including drive time to and from central depot)
- a fraction of the yearly vehicle upkeep/gas expenses

$70 is actually a pretty fair quote

Lincoln LS

“There’s a dedicated honk button. You can honk whenever you want.”

Untitled Goose Game Review:

From within the garden, I locked the gardener outside. I grabbed the radio, pulled it up in front of the gate, and honked at him to the beat of the tune so he would know who the master of this garden truly was. 8/10

This looks a lot like Donut County, which is the best fun I’ve ever had sucking. I’m looking forward to having a good time honking. 

If you’re driving really hard, though, there’s a chance that your engine isn’t running at the proper air:fuel ratio and therefore is getting hot.

Who was this product supposed to appeal to, Great British Baking Show stans who are also tremendous lushes?

“Well, it would be one heck of a way to differentiate ourselves from the rest of the crowd.”

Some car grilles keep getting bigger and bigger.

So conflicted.

I’ve learned more about grammar here in the Jalopnik comment section than I did from all 5 years of high school.

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

You wouldn’t also happen to have a comment history full of angry, racist, and misogynistic messages by any chance would you?