That Mychal-Jaxson dunk was quite the thriller.

That’s because the joke isn’t that they sent it to a literal farm; it’s that they really took it to the vet, where it was euthanized, bagged up, and thrown in a special red dumpster to be emptied on Thursday. Wakka wakka. 

Don’t worry everyone. He’s going to be all right.

ApathyMonger sure seems to care a lot.

Potomac Professional Pastime Proprietors part ways with Portis, Parker, Porter. Oubre out! Carmelo captaincy conceivable.

If it weren’t for Deadspin I would honestly forget that this team exists. And I live in DC

Could you be more specific?

That’s a bullshit way to break up a no-hitter. 

We regret to inform you that CowShit Man is racist.

“Maybe Thanos had a point after all...”

I was going to say that you must be the dumbest person alive but then I remember Stephen A. Smith is on First Take.

I agree about dad and am mostly interested in your mom anyway.

Was the “power struggle” a staring contest?

WAHHHHHHHH MY BEDTIME STORY WAS NOT TO MY LIKING WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WAHHHHHH I COULD WRITE A BETTER ONE

I WON’T

BUT HEAR ME OUT: I COULD

Smith wants no part of showering with Nick Foles.

never trust a sport with two halftimes

I am Fucking the Giants too.

And now you’re back to no friends.  You sure showed him....

Jones has all the right attributes: Will, Height, Intelligence, Tenacity, Eye-hand coordination.

A stale joke at Deadspin? That’s like saying Craig James didn’t kill 5 hookers at SMU, man.