He’s just trying to slap an Oakland Raiders sticker down there

1 out of 2 for correct apostrophe use.  F-

Congratulations to these three players, who can now join Joel Embiid and Lance Stephenson as the newest members of Russell Westbrook’s long and constantly growing list of enemies.

That courtside ad!  LifeStorage is either the worst name for a rental storage unit, or the greatest name for a nursing home. 

The article features a glorious (and unintentional?) Tannehill burn:

My kids attempt to sing the lyrics incessantly.

#DIV/0! yards per game

Ostovich is still scheduled to fight Paige VanZant next month on the UFC’s first ESPN card, which also features the debut of Greg Hardy, for some reason.

Graphic design is my passion

I’m assuming this is a premature ejaculation joke. Of course, I assume that regarding all posts on Deadspin, regardless of topic.

That article established the gold standard for author replies:

Patrick, did you take this one because McQuade is sobbing under his desk?

“Sigh. You just don’t understand football, Powersurgeon”

As an aside, all I remember from playing Super Tecmo as a teenager is that I was unstoppable with the Eagles, despite the fact that 100% of the time I chose the same play (the lower left of the screen?). I think it sent everyone deep or something. Thank you for letting me share.

Just another example of Embiid talking shit after a game against Andre Drummond

Molly: What brings you to Philadelphia?

That’s the final boss of Red Dead Redemption 2, I believe

I don’t think it’s hyperbole to state that Gritty is the single greatest thing humanity has ever accomplished. He (She? It?) will heal our fractured nation.

Kelly Oubre Jr.

I have a question for all the angry dad lawyers surfing Deadspin right now: does Boylan have them dead to rights with this voicemail? Or can Gilbert just claim that the now-fired Lue was mistaken and it was never about age?