Jalopnik, and the ‘gawker’ network itself, evolved out of regurgitated, cut-and-paste-and-add-a-link summarizing of other real journalistic efforts from across the internet.

It is 2017. Between craigslist, ebay, and every freaking hipster bar from Portland to Portland, you’d think just about everyone would realize these things are worth money. Way more money than that scrapper paid. Enough money that it’d be worth it to stuff them in a storage unit until someone (say, I dunno, this Link…

I keep checking to see if maybe - someday - you write something, literally anything positive about Formula 1.

For the first time in some number of literal years, I have shared a jalopnik post on my soclial feeds. I did the same when EE posted his video of this tech, BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING AWESOME.

“Does anyone who saw The Secret Of NIMH as a child not associate it with being creepy?”

I don’t. But then, I also remember vividly that I thought most of the other kids were stupid fucking assholes, and thery needed lessons on what it meant to be shallow, vile little shits. You know, so they’d learn some semblence of…

Yes, a funny-looking vibrating spatula. How adorable.

My stepmother insisted her and my father join up with NuSkin because an independently wealthy distant family member got her alone for an hour during a family get-together, and gave her the whole schpeel.

HOW IS THE DRIVER’S IDENTITY A FUCKING MYSTERY WHEN THE RESCUE CREWS HAD TO EXTRACT BOTH THE DRIVER AND PASSENGER?

Too little (HA!) too late.

for $2500 you can go down to a local shop and buy a moped capable of hitting 80mph without the fun of having to pre-mix your gas and apologize for the giant cloud of blue smoke you leave behind you everywhere you go. Yeah.

Yeah but this is a kids’ dirtbike, whereas the Kawi here has more adult proportions. For whatever reason that’s just how they do things here (Oh, small power it’s a childs toy) but in asia it’d be a full-size smog maker.

LOLZ. ALL OF THEM.

I would have probably been tempted to infuse some carpet in that ugly bitch’s face myself.

du.de ;DuDe

Coders and tech support geeks live by altered state troubleshooting. If I wasn’t high I’d have a hard time talking to most other ‘humans’ in almost any circumstance.

If I wasn’t poor I might have known that. My shoes stay paired...

Also known as:

Ugh. My neighbors mom, around 7 every night in the summer:

For some twisted reason I’ve been putting all my resin scrapings into a big glass jar, over the past two years in Oregon...it’s disturbing, given the amount of herb I smoke (ehhh a gram a day, ish, like 5 grams a week). It’s a gross habit I picked up when I lived in flyover country, because you never knew if your guy…

Yeah, you nailed it with the word ‘ritual’. Much like the rituals performed by people who believe in, say, a religion or spiritual practice, the time you spend grinding and rolling and lighting - the ritual - makes the brain switch gears in anticipation of the percieved end goal.