#BoobDad

Meh. Looks mostly the same. Still essentially the same big eyes and weird hair.

God forbid a Jets victory to happens without stupid, snarky post from Deadspin.

Best part of that goal is probably the fact that Tarasenko put clown shoes on a guy who was drafted six spots higher than him (McIlrath). Really wish my Stars had taken Tarasenko over Jack Campbell that year too- Vlad and Nichushkin would be a nasty combo. Or even a great linemate for Seggy and Benn. Instead Tarasenko…

Meh. Worse things have happened at Penn State.

Zero is 28? Uh-uh. Nope. Sorry. Best candy bar ever. And I will brutally murder anyone who disagrees with me. Or....or just voice my dissent in the comments section.

Welcome to every Albert Burneko article ever.

Jameis Winston will go balls deep no matter who's trying to throw him out of bed.

So what's on for movie night- Fisherman's Wife? Or Fisherman's Wife 2: The Re-Tentacling?

Maybe he went to Omaha after hearing it so many damn times.

Chewie, is that you?

Meh. Sounds like mulch ado about nothing.

Beyblades?

I bet his jersey number was 69.

The line "Upon swine exodus from the Undead Asylum" should also be in there. Whoops. Haha

You know, I was gonna say that then there's too much bacon in the verse....but you can never have too much bacon. +1

Thou who art bacon art chosen. Maketh piggrimage to the land of ancient boars. When thou ringeth the bell of Awakening, the fate of the bacon thou shalt know.

That lady needs her head cut open and scooped out.

And probably the only ejaculations he's still capable of.

"Vine is great. The Deadspin staff spends a good chunk of every work day not doing any actual work sharing and laughing at Vines..."