Am I the only person in the world who has never used Uber?

I’m not blind to color. Orange is my least favorite color and it clashes with my most favorite color which is not being an asswipe.

Every time I remember my abortion, I get furious.

“Christy was toxic for the family. She was mentally unstable.”

She is a tall, statuesque woman who can probably pull off all kinds of things someone more petite can't. And with that amazing skin tone and her crazy funny personality? You'd think designers would be jumping to offer up something out-of-the-box for her.

🙌

“But on the other, it’s a direct reflection on society’s crybaby political correctness.”

Semper Cri

you know, it really isn’t nice to speak ill of the dead...

Dear Antonin Scalia,

Can we stop using “mommy” as an adjective? Mommy bloggers, mommy classes, mommy vacations, “mommy friends.” It has this weird way of infantilizing motherhood by tying it to infant parlance. Get off your baby’s level! You’re a mother, a mom, you speak “adult.”

a hunk of beef jerky that rolls under the couch and is left there to harden, becoming covered in dust and cat hair until a cockroach takes it back to its lair and makes it his wife

Yup. Woman are always made to feel like they are overreacting if they find a man creepy. We’re supposed to be understanding of gross behavior and write it off as “social awkwardness.” Fuck that noise. Trust your gut ladies.

actually, being fat is in a large part, choice. Not disability.

Did you come up with this? Because I had to steal it and make a quick art piece with it.

if dudes are allowed to talk about their favorite strip clubs during BUSINESS MEETINGS i should be allowed to talk about my favorite dildo

I’m on the waiting list to get my hacked off with a weed whacker* and I’m excited. I look forward to my nipples not being the size of wagon wheels.

Do you mean the rape thing? Yeah. He claimed that I knew the risks when I decided to go to grad school. I pointed out that I couldn’t complete a graduate degree without attending evening classes because all the requisite classes were held then. He did not see that as a systemic barrier to female enrollment.

Have you ever been to a medical marijuana clinic? They are full of THC-free CBD products (in addition to THC-heavy ones).