I would not watch a movie depicting this contest, watching it play out is distasteful in the extreme.

Ms. Jones can do much better than Mr. Mayer. Much better.

Schadenfreude is fun, but it is kind of awesome that the dude still CAN cry, for whatever reason. Just that ability alone makes him come out ahead of the game. John Boehner wasn’t good for much, other than sort of normalizing the idea of men randomly tearing up, a little bit.

Ugh. Fucking football, I will never understand why it takes such precedence over everything in any country, regardless of ball shape.

Life is complicated, details are messy. None of us know exactly what we would do in HRC’s place, because nobody but Bill & Ms. Broaddrick know exactly what happened. Who knows what HRC heard in the end, we just know she had a family to protect, and perhaps a nascent inkling of a political future. Most of us would go…

I inadvertently dated a series of gingers (it just worked out that way, though I do appreciate the genre in general). Ended up marrying a dude who I thought was not a ginger, but turned out had been fiercely so as a child. We ended up making one who is not fading, might even be brighter as a teen. Trying really hard…

When we know better, we do better.

This guy should totally get lauded at coach of the year events. Not seconds after the actual athletic event where an entire other person had the achievement.

Me, too. I get the kids to watch while I apologetically fix the things I break (stupid kitchen drawer fronts wrench off too easily, geez) in a fit of pique, so they see there is a serious down side to this behavior. Being contrite is no fun, either. Best avoid.

It’s also possible that if Hillary Rodham hadn’t married that charming millstone, and proceeded to chart her own course alone without the blowjob baggage, she might have won in 2008, or even 2000. Perhaps her own merits of a lifetime of public service, without benefit of pouring any energy into child-rearing and…

Bring on the after school satan, it can’t possibly be worse. In our little school the “Good News” club is touted as free babysitting for an hour after school to poor & overextended working moms. Imagine their horror when the little darlings start having nightmares about hell and bringing home coloring book images of…

Me either. I’ve considered being an Uber, but I can’t work up the enthusiasm required to clean my minivan. Also I hate other people.

Don’t lets forget the raging UTI from an irritated urethra that some of us lucky gals got every. single. time. with a diaphragm. That hula hoop on the edge is no joke. Unlike my urethra, which is always a barrel of laughs in a short, wildly oversensitive package.

These kind of carpets are tedious; as a children with legos parent and owner of a largish hand me down Persian carpet, I can’t even bother to look. Best to just lie down and look sideways across the fucker before you severely damage your foot. Or phone.

Showing more restraint than the police usually do, she shot to incapacitate. Unfortunately, she’ll probably still have to keep dodging this fucker till the police shoot him dead, but major respect for keeping her head in a crisis.

You know, this stupid country has been focusing too damn much on “stranger danger” and not enough on respecting your own intuition when someone is a weirdo. These kids are about the right age group for the full on stranger danger indoctrination when they were little, maybe they never got the chance to really respect…

Ryan Seacrest, of whom I know virtually nothing but that he is ubiquitous and bland, and I can see his nipples. I don’t mind, but I know too many women who totally try to avoid having that happen. Men really should, too.

Actually, in large part, it’s genetic. There have been studies with adoptees where infants with fat parents who were adopted into thin households still were fat. Enjoy your genetic luck, don’t rag other people about theirs.

I hope they’ll make a reunion video in 10 years, when all their dietary shenanigans have come home to roost. Right now they’re all living on baby fat. Meh.

It’s been a few years since I was in this situation, but I can contribute that once I got past it I was amazed to find that my supposedly well-to-do friends were mostly living on credit, which came due right around when I finally got myself above water. It worked out, because I had developed frugal habits anyway, so I…