Yep. Just stick to being pretty, the good Lord gave you looks, not brains.

Tom Brady and Donald Trump; two assholes infamous for their pathetic, saggy balls.

Tom Brady: you can dress him up but you can’t take him anywhere unless he promises not to talk, ever. Just stand there and look pretty, honey.

“Championship shit starter” is gonna be my new vocal warm up. Thank you.

EAT MOAR.

How to Make Your Breasts Look Girlie (Advice from an Asshole)

I made mine from a simple pattern (with some alterations by a professional once I had the bulk of it done). It was pretty basic, the top never *quite* fit right (and had to be safety-pinned to my bra) but total cost me about $200 for fabric and $400 for alterations.

I’m still trying to convince my fiancée to abandon a wedding dress entirely and pick up something cute on Modcloth or something. We’ve already abandoned a bunch of traditions on various grounds—too expensive, too traditional, out of line with our values, too oppressively paternalistic or patriarchal, too stressful—but…

It’s got to be a combination, with religion attracing the outskirts of sanity, and then the religious echo-chamber and indoctrination making sure they stay on the outskirts.

Prayer, when you won’t help, but don’t want to look bad.

I want Jake. And I want actually scandals where she cleans up crazy goings on with random DC people. I want more white hats and much much more crazy Mellie.

And Olivia only gets back together with Jake because he gets into a situation where SHE needs to save HIM. And they finally finish that dance in the sun,

This, this, all of this! I do not tune in to watch Olivia be the same broken down mess I can be in my own life. I tune in to watch her handle political shit while Jake takes his shirt off.

Yes, more Jake please...team Jake!!

Yes where is jake?! Fitz has the permanent expression of a kid who wasn't allowed to have a cookie. Olivia x Jake forever.

NOT ENOUGH JAKE

You should also know that not all women get g-spot orgasms. A lady may appreciate you making the ole college try, but do not feel like a failure (and for god’s sake do not feel like you need to finger her for one thousand years) if she doesn’t get off.

I made friends with my crotch when I was four. Back then I could actually get my head all the way down there because I was a) limber and b) two feet tall. Checked out the whole neighborhood. My father caught me and literally screamed in horror and told me sternly never to do that again. I did not listen. Never had the…

For fellow female readers who suffer from yeast infections; there is such thing as recurring yeast infections, especially among women who have an active sex life. There is very little information about it online but I’ve read hundreds of stories from women who suffer from yeast infections regularly, even if they…