I'm what most people would consider a software wizard. I do things with computers (or more precisely, I make computers do things) that most people consider basically magic.

I agree with this propaganda peddler.

"It's not just a difference in the way that we measure things?" Kooiman replied. "Is it not as safe in that part of the world? Because our viewers may be thinking, 'International travel, is it safe? Is it not safe?'"

Can we fucking stop with this shit? All this talk. All these articles about how sex can be great, suuure, without orgasms. ONE LITTLE DETAIL in all these articles though - almost all the women who don't come with their man are usually getting themselves off alone. I don't know about anyone else, but when I MASTURBATE,…

Most of my students celebrate Christmas, and I ask the ones who do if they are ready for Santa. To a one, they have all whispered, "...but Santa isn't real!" I always tell them that of course he is real. I just got an email from him.

As everyone knows, children are raised only during working hours. And women don't work outside the home as well as inside the home. And men are very tired from doing all the work in a family.

I wish there were more people in the world like this grandfather. If there were, we wouldn't get so many people out there unable to process simple facts like "I'm sorry, your password can be reset, but it's going to take a few minutes." "Well, that is UNACCEPTABLE." Really? I think you'll find if you really sit…

It's nice to think that the outfit is okay because a five-year-old likes it, but it's more accurate to say that the five-year-old likes the slave outfit because she's been taught to like it. She's thinks it's pretty because we've taught her to think that it's pretty, and she already excused Jabba for taking Leia…

I'd say it takes massive cajones for him to get out of bed every morning. He's spent this term shoveling up a mountain of shit he didn't create, finally pushed through the beginnings of a legit healthcare plan, eliminated bin Ladin, is dismantling Gitmo, the economy is coming back, and there's that thing about how…

ATTENTION CONSUMER: STOP BEING SAD. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE CUTTING INTO OUR SALES PROJECTIONS.

I absolutely hate the culture of "happiness" that is so ingrained in America. It's unhealthy and it's annoying.

I think being president is hard as fuck and so I cut the man some slack, and also try to remember that it was this or McCain. Or Mittens. So as much as a ton of stuff is not great, I try to take breaths and remember that he's about as good as it's realistically gonna get.

Do you learn to not be overwhelmed by kindness? My history is terrible but when people show me kindness, I become overwhelmed with tears. Does that happen to you?

at least you've made progress and your Mom asked you first! My MIL is just so... Ugh. At our rehearsal dinner, she noted that I had a lot of food and that she was surprised I was eating so much before my wedding. Another time I had a breakfast meeting for work and she told me to just get an English muffin so I didn't…

So that would mean roughly 50% of the people in the world are celebrities (possibly more). That seems... high.

That is precious. More importantly: THERE IS MORE THAN ONE MAN WHO IS EXACTLY THAT FINE?! Jesus.

All the men in my life have huge lumberjack beards. I need these ornaments. Three sets, at least.

I'm pleased that the revolution is starting but they need to go after bigger targets next time. An assistant manager isn't all that powerful. Go for the CEOs from now on.

I don't want this to sound like I'm criticizing Tracee because I'm not. I love her. That said, Tracee wearing her hair has never really been a problem. Yes we live in a society that values Eurocentric beauty and curly hair doesn't exactly fit in that standard, BUT it's way more acceptable than women who have 4c hair,…