On the plus side, now that the elder spinster sister is out of the way, you are free to do as you wish (according to fairy tales). Cubic zirconia are cheap, buy yourself a nice cocktail ring and carry on not having to share decisions with anyone for as long as you please.

Steel toes are actually kinda stylish now:

Finally! I have variations on this conversation at least once a week:
Thing 1: "I want [insert thing I have no intention of purchasing/doing/making happen here]."
Me: "I want a tiara, we can't always get what we want."

Here, let me help you with that:

Eew. That right there would make a terrifying couple costume for Halloween.

THIS. It seemed like the abusive sociopaths I went to (all white, rural) high school with pretty consistently became cops. I've met some "normal" guys who were cops in other places since then; those are the guys that get sent to the goofy DARE functions at elementary schools.

I think it is OK to strike up a conversation with a stranger. What is not OK is a social construct that makes it impossible to decline an interaction without such a great loss of face that violence becomes a viable option in someone's head. Base your self-worth on something else, fellas, it's not a woman's job to lift…

As come-ons go, this seems pretty tame/oversold in the headline. Typos happen. Having said that, I gotta say that using a customer service interaction as a potential sexual/romantic segue had never occurred to me. I guess my life is good.

The lengths we'll go to accommodate capitalism. Blech, poor you.

Prayer: The act of doing absolutely nothing while getting credit for doing something.
Whatever.

I'm going to chime in on behalf of the Contigo: It's half the Amazon price if you pick up a pair of them at Costco, and the ones they're carrying at the moment DO have a lock button (so you CAN just throw it in a bag and the "open" button is disabled. Ha!)

I'm going to chime in on behalf of the Contigo: It's half the Amazon price if you pick up a pair of them at Costco,…

Whoa, props to anyone who can maintain blue hair, or that waist. My attention span is way too short to get so invested in anything that requires much consistency.

Wait, she's having sleepovers and trading knitting tips with other people, too?

I agree with the rules as stated, but would like to add that the purpose of an engagement ring is to prove to the <em>askee</em> that the <em>asker</em> is quite serious about the endeavor. At this point, the ring (or other somewhat painful investment) can go either (or both) way(s), and can be made of whatever…

Grace Kelly's blouse from the "brandy warming" scene in <em>Rear Window</em>

When I was a kid in the 70's, the male US mail man had several pictures of topless women endowed with more than 2 breasts glued to the dashboard of his mail truck. This is back when they were open Jeeps in the Summer. We neighborhood kids spent a lot of time gawking at the pictures trying to figure out how that could…

Congratulations on the healthy baby, you might not get the crying phase 'cause she's so big already! (yay!) I had a similar experience 15 years ago: Thing 1 was average-size, but my pelvis narrowed abruptly. The resulting conehead was quite memorable, though. After that, Thing 2 was a scheduled C, I saw no reason to…

Vogue can kiss my dimply pumpkin butt.

Because it is the culmination of all the terrible grammar that came before it. A "Facebook" what? Stock? Account? Page? Group? Have we become so rushed as a society that an entire ellipsis is too much to manage?

Right, this is hilarious. Flying is essentially a monopoly on US cross-country travel, given that most people don't have time to take Greyhound or Amtrak (on the slim chance it goes where they need to). We've put all our chips into this particular mode of transportation while essentially gutting the idea of high speed…