No one is ever gonna get the Muppets “right” again, because they’re no longer a living, breathing thing. They’ve become an excercise in pointless nostalgia, and no version is ever going to restore whatever vague quality they used to have, because that quality isn’t based on a collective memory, it’s based on millions…

Shit, at this point I think I’d take the alcoholic family member over the teetotaling windbag in chief.

Worth noting: alcoholism isn’t a moral failing, as Trump (and many others) cast it as. It’s an addiction, and addiction doesn’t know moral grounds—it only knows chemical components and reward receptors.

“Trump’s reclusive brother, Robert Trump, serves on the board of directors for Zenimax, the company behind game publisher Bethesda and all of its subsidiaries.”

“when they send their street fighters, they are not sending there best. They are sending cage fighters, they are sending wrestlers. One of them was homeless who beat cars. SAD!”

I had it on good authority that Anita Sarkeesian was going to purge creativity from gaming, and that Donald Trump would keep the liberals from neutering my favorite pass time. I have literally no idea how that could have backfired on me. All I wanted was ethics in games journalism, I swear. Scout’s honor.

“Mrs. Pacman—hell of a woman. Hell of a woman.

And I admit, I tried to get with her.

I moved on her like a ghost.

But I couldn’t get there. I couldn’t get there.

She’d already eaten a power pellet.”

Any bets that he will say something like “Whatever happened to Pacman?”

Just seeing Bayonetta 2 show up on any kind of “Best Seller” list really warms my soul.

It also suggests, given the success of Vs. Super Mario Bros., that Nintendo’s hesitancy to put its classic games out on the Switch through a Virtual Console may have in fact helped indie games avoid being shunned in favor of the likes of Link to the Past, Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Metroid.

I like my Paladins LARGE FEMALES.

RIP Reinhardt 2016-2018.

As a non-MH player, ITS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO SPEAK ENGLISH

“Hey, I can call my maw from up here.

Isn’t the fact that an aborted fetus will apparently attempt to murder everyone around it actually a convincing argument for abortion?

Cletus, the FETUS? How did anyone keep a strait face after that?

a bandaged and robed man named Cletus

I mean, he does have a PhD in Disrespectology. I hardly expect the dude to be respectable or humble about the whole scenario.

Mrs. Assassin, my wife, multiracial, all the way from the small island of Malamawi. Lots of Filipino blood. I love it.

That explanation is peak White Guy, lol. He seems to be unable to separate doing racist shit with being racist. They’re not exclusive.

I don’t know enough about Dr. Disrespect to make a call, but seriously, how you gon use the “I have X friends” card?

He’s more Skoal now than man. Twisted and evil.