Any slapnuts who refers to himself as an “alpha” isn’t.

Collinsworth owns the most analytical football website in the world. You may not enjoy ProFootballFocus, but you can’t say they lack objectivity.

This liberal bias is exactly why I canceled my subscription to Deadspin. I just read all the words in the articles and comment sometimes.

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

If you think shitting on people and ideologies is wrong, why are you reading Jezebel? That’s what they do... that’s nearly all they do.

Scientology is super extremely not for me, but a quip (I forget whose) comes to mind on the difference between whackadoodle cults and mainstream religions: “In a cult, there’s one guy at the top who knows it’s all bullshit. In a religion, that guy is dead.”

Well, okay, quick thought experiment: what’s the difference apart from the length of time that they’ve been around? Like what really distinguishes any of the major religions from scientology?

Replace “Scientologist” with “Muslim”, reread the piece and determine if it still sounds reasonable, especially if your argument relies, out of hand, on dismissing a #NotAllMuslims argument. Either judge the person as an individual, or don’t, but don’t cherry pick. I don’t find Scientology to be compelling and their…

That announcer sounded exactly like what i expected someone calling a Mulerider Softball game would sound like

Just make sure to mute your TVs

I saw this neat play, liked it, and wanted to show it to more people. Don’t be a wang.

Can corroborate. This is a true statement.

I could get dick literally anytime

I’ll never understand how your only job is to play basketball, yet you can’t make free throws. Literally you do this for a living. Camp in the gym 10 hours a day and practice- you have no other job! I do free throws an hour a day FOR FREE.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz was troubled by the Rockets’ display, saying that “Publicly mocking a man for cinder blocking his free heaves at the ball hole isn’t our way. I hope the Rockers learn from this.”

You know what they say in The Association: if you want respect, buy a Laurentian Respect Terrier.

Tell me who won the pacers-cavs series if you’re real

I like how somehow the Thunder being up when Russ is on the court and then hemorrhaging points when he sits for a couple minutes confirms that Harden is the MVP when those comebacks often happen with Harden on the bench as well. Harden’s supporting cast is so much better than Russ’s and if that’s not obvious to you…

The situation you described, isn’t that called “an embarrassment of riches”? Let’s go with a medical analogy... Say you are sick, bleeding internally and need immediate treatment. Would you rather: