As a society, it feels like we are constantly impressed with the importance of female friendship - you must have good deep female friends, you must have besties, a squad, a tribe.

This isn’t about getting back together; it’s about his desire to have contact with her whenever he wants, however he wants simply because he wants it. He doesn’t care that he divorced her via text because he did what he did because he wanted to at the time.

It makes me happy that they are unhappy. I don’t care if that makes me a shitty person.

Typical of a Llama to spit in the face of victims.

That chest x-ray is looking pretty serious for ol’ Farenthold there.

I really hope she beefs with Beyoncé at some point so Twitter is nothing but venomous bees and snakes. Like Australia.

The expression “blood is thicker than water” originally meant that the bond between comrades is stronger than family, as in bathing in the blood of your enemies is a pretty powerful bonding experience, and it has been bastardized into meaning the exact opposite.

Nazis and supporters of the Southern Confederate States get no rights. You can’t be an American and a Nazi. You can’t memorialize the Confederate rebels in a positive way and still be an American. We fought wars over both these things.

Like two dried, cracked and ancient tanned leather purses slapping together in a jar of mayonnaise.

50 women picked up gargabe out of a river, read the romantic note attached, and thought, “Yeah this doesn’t sound like it’s gonna get me murdered, let’s go for it!”

What pisses me off most about President Dipshit inserting himself in this story is that per his proposed healthcare reform, the children suffering like that here at home would be left to die while their parents are saddled with a copious amount of medical debt.

Well Grizzly bears will head north, and polar bears will go south. Soon we’ll have a super bear that will be unstoppable. That’s how evolution works right?

Donald, you are a such a fucking drama queen.

Well shit, everybody. The police believed the victim, HE GODDAMN ADMITTED IT, and the jury still won’t convict.

To be fair to ICE, they had no idea Iraqi Christians weren’t white! It was a total shock to them. They never would have defended some crazy-ass Muslim Christians on purpose!

The only skill these people have is grifting and exploitation being born rich.

Trump’s not even short but he has little man syndrome.

If the person who can fire you begins a statement with “I hope you can” 99.9% of the population knows that really means “Do this or you’re fired” and we know this is what Trump meant BECAUSE THEN HE FIRED HIM FOR NOT DOING IT.

how ‘bout a cookie