I know I should really let this go at this point in the show’s run, but seriously...what are the Serpents, exactly? Is it just a slightly cooler Elks Lodge? Are they all literal homeless orphans? Are there still adults in this gang? There were previously, right? Is it that they defected to the Gargoyles after a child…

Also, while Archie the character has been a dead end, KJ Apa the person has been a fount of delightful shirtless Instagram posts, and in keeping with the recap’s theme, that is as good a bid for relevancy as any on this show. I had a “make your bones” joke in there somewhere but I didn’t have the strength to follow…

I think anyone who refuses to grow, evolve or accept criticism in any way is doomed to obscurity, regardless of their chosen profession. Not everyone on that list is equally guilty of that, but yeah, if your primary response to adversity is “KIDS TODAY” then you’re probably past your prime. Masturbating in front of…

I took it as a tweak on the “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” catch phrase from the show. When he was at a place where he couldn’t control it at all, he thought the answer was to stay zen. I think "I'm always angry" means he's fully embraced this part of him and now he can summon it at will. I think also in the…

After I saw Aquaman, which I did enjoy, I decided the main difference between the Marvel movies and other attempts at that same magic is that Marvel movies have characters that resemble actual human beings. They might be raccoons and trees and Gods and robots or whatever the fuck, but they respond to stimuli in ways…

Does this mean that we're collectively in a place where we can admit Anne Hathaway is pretty great? Cause I never left that place. I don't really get what happened for awhile but it got a little lonely there. 

I think the binge nature of television in general makes us doubt our ability to pick up stories in medias res. I don’t know how many times people are like, “Oh, you gotta watch it from the beginning” but before everything was instantly accessible, how often was anyone there from episode 1 of a show? I started Breaking…

The "always angry" line might be my favorite in all the films. 

Right, so many of her critics miss her core thesis. Her only true criteria is the whole, “Does it spark joy?” Does the object make you feel good? To look at or wear or hold? Or are you keeping it because you feel guilty or you think you’ll sell it later or might need it in the future?

My friends dog looks exactly like that, and we had all kinds of theories as to what she was, and when they took the doggie DNA test...pit bull. Mostly pit bull. 

That’s awesome and makes a ton of sense. I think the only reason why the intention isn’t quite clear is that as exaggerated as it is, it’s still not entirely out of the realm of possibility that it could be sincere. As a viewer, I’m like pretty sure it’s a joke? But also I’m a person who frequents the internet. So...

That whole scene is baffling to me. The idea that he’s in love with his best friend’s wife is human and relatable, his shame about his creepy wedding video and her dawning realization is well-done...but the cue cards...I dunno. I have no idea what I am supposed to do with any of that information. I think the thing…

The fat shaming is so insane and over the top for someone who is NOT REMOTELY FAT, like, I’m not even sure she’s Hollywood fat, that I can never tell if it’s a joke in and of itself? Like reverse Fat Hal or something?

He is consistently an excellent interview subject. Also...

Sabrina really is the worst, but at least she’s the kind of worst that makes shit happen, so I kinda forgive it (as opposed to some of the more passive “worsts” over in Riverdale). As soon as the yule log was set up, I turned to my husband and cackled, “Let’s blow out some logs!” It also cracked me up when her friends…

Just saw it, yes, do this. 

Can’t see how I could ever regret it. My Gangnam Style tattoo still burns bright.

I’m not going to lie, Betty-as-Griffin Queen will be my next tattoo.

Rock paper scissors rules is about the tightest internal logic we can expect, really.

That struggle is real. I mean fuck, I didn’t know how to pronounce Hermione for three years.