*off to do that very thing you said not to do*

Google Image search needs to have a warning process for shit like that. You click search and if the results are completely disgusting, a message pops up that says "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS ONE? BECAUSE THERE IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT HERE." And then you can decide if you want to proceed.

Imagine being told that your feelings aren't valid, your pain isn't legitimate

Which is unfortunate because two kids with ridiculous names should really be friends.

"She will not come out of this hell. She's mine. Anyone who prays for her will die."

Right, that's why he's exchanging texts with a teenager.

Wait was Paul Rudd in Friends?

I feel ya, Mark! Paul Rudd today, Paul Rudd tomorrow, Paul Rudd forever!

Nicole Richie = favorite lilac hair of all time. And good for her and Joel. Who knew that one half of "Paris and Nicole" would result in such a strong, self-aware adulthood?

YES. I feel like there must have been a secret meeting between the diet industry and the fashion industry (I mean, they have those regularly, right?):

The law doesn't suit me though. Private land being rented at profit solely to bombard me with propagandist messages as I try to go about my day doesn't "suit me." I've traveled to Vermont repeatedly over the past few years, and one of the biggest aesthetic differences which is immediately apparent is that billboards…

I love nachos. Unhealthy addiction/love, same thing.

I was on a third date with a guy we'll call Joe. I hadn't had sex for a while and had offered on previous dates, but he wanted to wait, so I respected that. We go to the house that Joe is housesitting at for friends and start making out in the bedroom. I rip all of my clothes off in one smooth motion, tossing them to…

Ah, the halcyon days of the '90s, when we humans dwelled placidly under the dot-com bubble, foolishly investing all of our money in Beanie Babies and plucking out most of our eyebrow hairs....

Seems to me like these people need to spend less time making spreadsheets and more time spreading on the sheets, amirite?