Well she plays a supposed medium in that movie, so seems about right.

He must be the guy who leaves me quarters all the time, too. I'm forever finding them. What a nice guy.

I don't know why, but I still like this girl

Isn't this how Republicans think HIV is spread?

"If you had just gone to college ..."

Oh, FUCK YOU, lady. Fuck you so hard. Meanwhile Ellie Moore, you and I are BFF's now. It is decided.

The only time anyone ever dared to make a remark like this to me, I was working at Eddie Bauer on a morning shift. Some lady took umbrage to my (corporate mandated), "Wool socks are…

equally guilty. I have DAILY DISPOSABLES that I'll wear for ages at a time. I just had my checkup-doc says that my eyes look terrific, wrote a new prescription for more (which I don't need, since I barely go through them)

NOPE, refuse to listen to this cautionary tale. I keep mine in for months at a time as well. Just had an eye checkup and doc said my eyes are just fine. I may be negligent, but I'm really fuckin' clean too.

Okay, I'm still pretty scared now but you know what? I WON'T LET FEAR DRIVE ME TO SPEND MONEY I DON'T HAVE! POWER…

"She tried to blame it on a block of feta she had sitting out on her bed."

Is anyone else pretty sure that they were a terrible roommate? I was the WORST. I would snooze through my alarm for literally 90 minutes ever morning. I barely ever did the dishes. I left my shit everywhere. I WAS THE WORST, I'M SORRY PREVIOUS ROMMATES.

Oh hell yes I have a bad roommate story.

she didn't get the job and wound up marrying a guy 25 yrs her senior and living as a housewife in Connecticut.

So aboard that train:

I can't wait for Size 007: for the deadly, debonair debutante.

At this stage of my life, the only thing that could bring me back to the fold of religion and faith would be if a meteor landed on that fucking ice cream truck outside right NOW.
It has ruined 6 summers, making me feel each and every time like a cult member in the compound with the FBI blasting music to break my spirit…

SECONDED. I would Facebook-share the hell out of that.

Do NOTinsult ice cream.

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood is UNBELIEVABLY loud. Plus, it's extremely sketchy looking. I'm not a fan. I also am very sure it's a front for a drug dealer. It has to be, right?

The ice cream truck by me plays "blurred lines."

WHY YOU OPEN THE CURTAINS THEY CAN SEE YOU NOW