Yeah well I doubt God created you to jump over fences for a living, but here you are.

God I love what turbos can do to anything. You set something on fire next to a turbo, and it doesn't run away, it gets excited.

"Actually, analytics refers to a type of bug that lives in your butt."

Hey. Hey, you. Hey!

Dear Electron,

I still don't totally understand that question. I do, but then I don't.

It's fun to watch little things pull big things, why does it have to be any more complicated than that?

Belichick: I like a little puppet. You can kinda put your fingers in, it's a little monkey and then he can talk.

It was Brett Favre. Brett Favre fucked the footballs, and they lost air. With his tiny penis.

We feel the same way after any of your appearances, Berman

Goodell: Well, see, what you have to understand is that Marshawn grabbing his junk during the game doesn't make the NFL or its owners any money, whereas selling pictures of him doing so does. So, what I'm saying is, I'm a shameless whore.

Now Deadspin has a funny guy who tries to talk punting and a punting guy who tries to talk funny.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you're a Penn State fan.

i told u I wanna check u out make sure i like the goods

That is the point of a racecar.

As always, props to the great Tim Burke for that wonderful headline. http://deadspin.com/this-wild-ass-…

This thing looks SO MUCH BETTER than it used to. Wow.

I am scared and horny because of this.....