To be fair, I’ve never hid who I am.

Kasich is like that guy at work who seems like a reasonable human being when you meet him, but then later you find out he’s some weird masochism fetishist who likes being stung in the balls by jellyfish.

I’m the person that thinks Ok Computer is the best album of the last 35 years. When you consider who they were before and after this, and what rock music was before and after this, I just can’t put any of their other [great] records in the same place.

If they don’t call this technology “Googly Eyes,” they’re completely insane.

I get the general icks from anything to do with reporting on this issue. This is a private medical situation for Ms. Spears, and it is none of our business, ESPECIALLY since she has not complained or tried to change the situation.

Nope, nope nope! They don’t get to cry after a decades long campaign to create the exact electorate that is showing up to the polls. The risk has been there for us people of color, or women, or non white Christian heterosexual males, and as some people can attest, the danger has already showed up and literally kicked…

Scouting report: great leverage, huge hands, needs to be more comfortable in his backpedal

“He paved the way for me to sign a fat ass contract with the Red Sox, bleed all over my sock, win a World Series, and then defraud the state of Rhode Island. So, yes, I owe a lot to Flood.”

It’s okay, squirt. You’re a Yankees fan. Wait a couple of days and something good will happen to you.

That’s right Clayton! Show him the heater!
-Jamie Moyer.

High school officials had their suspicions piqued when they overheard Johnathon discussing how he feels that although Nels Cline has been an amazing addition to Wilco, he just had not like the direction the band had been heading towards until Star Wars. But, man oh man, what an amazing return to glory. And it’s…

Because a fat guy came to your home and ate cookies?

Cry more, tittybaby.

Fuck yourself, bigot.

I’m taken back to my brief stint as a pitcher. I was in third or fourth grade and had been selected based on the fact that I was one of a few kids who could throw kinda hard more than a few times.

I really hope it does happen at Jalopnik, just so you can have an even worse day.