Hello, whippersnapper. How are things in the ghetto of Easton? Did they finish shutting down the frat system yet?

I watched that section four times consecutively and laughed so hard. Those guys are the best commentators in the whole thing. If you don't like them, you don't like video game commenting (which is perfectly ok).

Hello, fellow Lafayette alumnus.

Congratulations on being a sociopath! "If someone makes it possible for me to take advantage of them, it is my duty to take advantage of them!"

Serious question: what is "healthy" fat and how is it distinct from unhealthy fat? And I'm not proposing to eat fat-free in foods other than milk, I'm saying that the fat in whole milk is a lot of fat , and 2/3s of it is saturated. I can't keep up with what's healthy any more.

The difference in fat between whole and skim is 9 grams per CUP. That's a shitton of fat on a 60 gram/day fat intake. The percentage is lying to you and making you think it's not a big deal.

The gay panic in that story is like something out of an 80s sitcom.

True, although Marvel ain't putting out a female-led movie any time soon - Captain Marvel is a long way off. They put the raccoon and the tree in front of the lady.

Yeah, this doesn't make a ton of sense. I was in high school when Magary was in college, and I was definitely viewing internet porn on the school library computers.

Or you could see something funny, skip back, record it, and then catch up to live on the next commercial break. DVRs are the biz, homie.

May I suggest quitting? It was great for me, and it can be great for you too!

Browns fans don't have any hope, false or otherwise.

A year in the joint isn't a joke. I certainly think he deserves it, but it's not a short sentence.

It's a fair question, but what is the point of the championship? It's transitory. You win the whole thing, and then what? You gotta try again next year. The reason to have a team is to make money. The reason to win a championship is that it brings in more money (in the form of more fans, more merch, etc). It's a…

So you're saying Billy Crystal was right about humpin' and pumpin' not being Sheldon's strong suit? How was he at doing your taxes? Did you ever say "Ride me big Shel-don?"

Remember, it's the Browns. Winning the Super Bowl feels like "having a billion dollars" to a regular person. When you've had two winning seasons in your entire tenure as a reconstituted organization, "stay above 500" is probably the goal. "The long game" is something real teams think about. Not the Browns.

<bunch of uhs scattered throughout to continue the joke>Sure, but they're in second place and 1.5 games out of first with 4 weeks left. It's not like they're the Bucs or something (to be fair, they ARE the god damn Browns). Sure, if the Steelers, Ravens and Browns all manage to achieve the same record and are tied…

Uh, while it technically true that they are last place in the division, that is because there are 3 teams tied for second place. What a weird thing to say.

You have sex while your baby is in the bed.

"A fake plastic cabdriver who screams when he dies" may not be much of a shoutout, but Tom givin' props to JC.