The Old Man's Battle With The Furnace is higher for me, if for no other reason than his gibberish has been heard in our house a zillion times as substitute swear words.

That seems high for the decoder pin and low for the "major award", although maybe the former is warranted is you really like red cabbage?

#5—the quest for the red Ryder bb gun—isn’t that the main plot of the movie? And if so, how could it be included in this list?

Department store Santa got robbed.

Team sport’s the wrong way to go. You can’t control who else is on the team. Sure, coxswain seems easy, but you have no way to guarantee you have a gold medal caliber crew. No gold medal, ya dead. I would think the answer would be something not particularly athletic like shooting or archery. But, then again, those…

Today I learned that the Army football team were undefeated National Champions in 1944.

I mean, this is the 45th year that they’ve played at least 11 games in a season. So while, yes, claiming it back to the 1890s is a bit much, it’s still impressive for a team that has been irrelevant basically since the Truman administration.

The “First Army team to win 11 games in the 100+ year history of the program” type stats annoy me to know end.

How long would it take the average office worker to go to work and not do a single thing until they are fired?

Point of order #1: Han clearly stated that putting Luke in the tauntaun was a temporary measure while he “got the shelter built.” They spent the night in some kind of shelter.

I know people working for the government who were able to do this for the better part of a year.  Especially when you can get your employee union rep involved.  

Also, the answer to that question hinges on whether you are using real maple syrup or some Mrs. Butterworths shit. The real stuff does get reliably absorbed and you aren’t going to pour that much anyway (cause it’s expensive.) But the corn syrup stuff will pool on the plate.

I had a coworker who abandoned his (work from home) job. Stopped answering emails, stopped doing anything assigned to him, didn’t answer his phone. It was two weeks before my boss was like “okay I need to see what’s going on here” and another week before they fired him.

Imagine starting with “I was just asked to leave a funeral by a family member of a deceased football player” and thinking you were the sympathetic party in that story.

Dude, your entire article was four sentences. And one of those sentences was “Gross.” Gross.

I prefer to work my taxes backwards, figuring approximate credits and payments, then looking at ways to decrease my AGI or increase deductions to maximize my refund. 

I’ve been a Pats fan my whole life, which includes a lot of really awful years. In recent years, I’ve said, “They’ll go 12 and four, don’t shit yourself.” Well, this year, they won’t make that goal, but will still make the playoffs. I actually want the Pats to suck again a little, so that some of the fucking morons…

“The Patriots out-Tomlined the Steelers today.”

Lol, no way. That would require them to also be up against some exciting, highly regarded Rams team with a prolific offense and... ah fuck!

Lake Erie is actually a lake, not a river.