The responses to this post?

I get what your saying, but have you ever accidentally sat on your own balls? That and the end of Terminator 2. Totally okay. 

I recently discovered what I currently think is the best and most simple way to enjoy caviar. I learned that this is, supposedly, a traditional Russian way of eating it. Basically, take the avocado toast idea and replace the avocado with a cool slab of butter. I think it works even better than the blini with creme…

Ahh, the much under-appreciated Butler Begins.

that’s pretty fucked up. i thought jack ryan was pretty good.

Ive been to 18 away MLB parks. Every time in my Pirates gear. Never once was I accosted, yelled at (aside from playful ribbing), etc. In fact, I had beers bought for me on multiple occasions.

“The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do that! To me, that’s beautiful.”

Thankfully for those who hold things like a painted logo on a football field in such high regard, the grounds crew has since patched things up.

Eli Manning Dislikes:

I think we misunderstand. It’s not that Beckham doesn’t like water, it’s that he’s always thirsty.

As a born and bred Detroiter, there’s some bad sports years on the horizon. The Tigers and the Wings both hung on to aging stars for too long and have a lot of awful losses coming as the go through rebuilds that are five years overdue. The Pistons ray of hope is Blake freaking Griffin, so no hope there.

I’m sure there’s enough of us to make this one of the most-viewed articles on Deadspin today

This is a weird way to tell us you drafted David Johnson first for your fantasy team.

I see someone else went digging back into the history to see when the last time the Patriots weren’t in the top 10 for the least penalties. Fun fact: you have to go all the way back to 2006 before it happens again.

Apparently it is still a trick no woman has done in competition. I clicked the link expecting to see her do the trick in competition. Not so much. Cool trick, tho. 

You have the correct take here and the commentariat at Splinter has lost their goddamn minds.

A little background:

You're forgetting about the money he's already made playing for Ohio State.

What? No. You turn the shower on while you’re taking a dump so as to let the water warm up before you get in. Then get in from the back. 

This is serial killer behavior