Zlatan isn’t washed up; washing up is Zlataned.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

All of my uncles and cousins have trunk cages. It’s a normal thing for uncles and cousins to have.

My cousin drives a Uber and when he gives me a ride while he’s on the clock i usually just jump in the trunk cage, so Reddick is probably right about that. It's the obvious explaination.

You’re gonna get some hop-ons.

Spot-on assessment (and I’m a DC guy). Baltimore city proper is good stuff.

That punter was looking just like the Statue of Liberty:

If you continue to pay $60 annually for this glorified roster/uniform update, it ain’t the game that has a glitch.

So if I’m working on, say, an automotive assembly line. And I learn someone at a competing company is having a really great month. By this logic I should go over there and smash his fingers with a hammer? Cause I’m curious how far this people-should-be-physically-harmed-for-competence thing goes.

Oh well that certainly makes it not remotely any different.

STRIKE!

I swear if I hear some dipshit commenter complain about “how you’ve never played sports if you’re not getting in their head,” and “man, that’s how the game is played.”

Suspending Ureña isn’t enough for something this egregious. Baseball should really come down hard on the Marlins for this - for punishment they should put someone like Derek Jeter in charge of the team.

As a Packers owner, let me point out that we do make a decision: we vote for one of the boards annually. Obviously our “ownership” status is tenuous at best, but there isn’t a ‘real owner’, it is just us.

I hope he gets into beef with Jerry jones. That would make me interested in the NFL.

He tossed his bat, caught it, and said ‘fuck.’ The whole exchange took, what, maybe four actual seconds? Who gives a shit?

They should be upset that they have such a fucking hall monitor on their team tsk tsking dudes for being annoyed that they hit a foul ball for two fucking seconds.

Loh said he spoke with McNair’s parents Tuesday morning to officially apologize on the university’s behalf, telling them, “the university accepts legal and moral responsibility for the mistakes our training staff made.”

I’m not comfortable with this new world in which Duke players are likable in any way. 

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK