Man, I’ve known women who brag about having had a free meal after going on an unsuccessful date and it always sounds so grimey to me.

“In those types of scenarios, I am more inclined to offer to split the bill or just pay the bill outright sometimes because we have a bigger involvement than just casually seeing each other. I am more invested in the relationship, and therefore more invested in the person, so splitting the check or taking turns paying…

Yep, sounds like my approach. And the paying issue has nothing to do with the money. As you said, it has to do with their attitude and sense of entitlement. If they are this entitled on the first date, expecting you to do everything, they will only get worse in any kind of relationship.

Who pays: I’ve always operated under the rule that whoever asks, pays. If she was offering to pay I would at least offer to chip in or leave the tip though. If she asked me out and I didn’t have the funds, I was up front about it because I ain’t washin no dishes and if she still wanted to go out, we knew who was payin.

I will definitely say it’s still hard for me to let go of the “the man pays for the date” sentiment, but ain’t nothing wrong with having a woman earn more than a man. The problems you described with hypothetical men who either earn less & are insecure or lazy have little to do with the money, and more to do with the…

In order:

Most folks are going to move the needle to cherry pick the items that suit them best and this will vary from person to person.

If a woman is “side-eyeing” me on the first date until I pay for the tab, she isn’t getting a second date. I’ll always pay the bill on the first date, just how it works for me personally, but to act all uppity and not even offer to split (even if I’ll reject it) just screams entitlement to me. I don’t see how you can…

My career choices don’t lend themselves to the option of being a breadwinner, so I never really went to far onto equating money with pride. I do have a few friends who are deep into that way of thinking but it really does all come down to ego.

I’ve found that a successful relationship is built on a pair’s ability to communicate and compromise on unimportant things while solidifying a foundation built on harmony. A healthy relationship keeps everyone involved safe and happy, ideally extending out to bystanders as well.

I’m looking for a grown ass woman and not some teenaged girl who’s images of love and respect come from shitty romcoms.

I think as long as their is reciprocity it can work. If the woman becomes the breadwinner then the man takes on more domestic roles. But I do think some couples have one person overload on everything and they have their reasons why they are okay with that. In the end though the other party has to offer something that…

I always offer to pay; whether or not she accepts the offer is her choice, but I wouldn’t ask a girl on a date if I couldn’t afford it. My hand’s going to touch that check first. (Doesn’t hurt that I can’t remember a time the waiter didn’t nudge the check to my side of the table. Yay patriarchy?)

1) the person who asks the other person out for the date (covers the bases of lgbt and straight scenarios). I strongly prefer people who are generous, and what better way to communicate that than offering to pay? I love offering to pick up the bill, date or not, and it’s nice to date someone who is similarly minded.

I don’t get this. Like if you set up the date why would you expect her to pay? Now if she sets up the date she should pay and not expect you to contribute.

Yeah, exactly. It gives a good sense of just how entitled they are. I think the worst are the women that offer to split, but don’t really mean it and are disappointed if the guy accepts. That’s asshole level of entitlement that best to leave alone.

36yo guy-

No, I don’t, at all.

I (woman) prefer to split, but I am disappointed if the man doesn’t at least offer to pay. :-) I def pay for more of my own dinners than are paid for.

I (man) will usually pay on the first date, but I do consider it a little disappointing if the woman I am on the date with doesn’t at least offer to split it.