On literally anyone else in the world, the combination of Kermit-drinking-tea hat and Ultimate Warrior t-shirt would cause me untold amounts of annoyance. But not for you, King James.

Yeah, we should go back to the times when we raised kids to beat up and harass black people. Kids have always done shitty things. They do shitty things now and they did shitty things 40-50 years ago.

I’ve seen plenty of stores put fireworks on shelves. These aren’t high-end fireworks, it is just the cheap stuff. But, they probably didn’t expect someone would come along and set them on fire, anymore than they would expect it with paint thinner or other flammable stuff.

You don’t like Wal-Mart, so you think it’s ok to set one on fire? Wow.

So your fine with people destroying others property as long as you dislike that person. Your parents must be so proud.

Arson is okay if they’re “asking for it”

“The government is broken! Elect me and I’ll fix everything!”

Bingo.

The government is run by anti-government types that constantly claim that the government is broken. Why else are the ATF, TSA, VA failures?

You don’t coast to a win after extra time.

And - and! - then he gave a speech at the United State of Women Summit where he called himself a feminist, quoted Shirley Chisholm and talked about the insane double standard women and girls of color face on regard to assertion, being called “angry”, etc!! And slut shaming was in there too! Senior Year Obama has HAD…

POTUS ended his speech with “praise for the spirit we [as Americans] see in Orlando.”

Oh, snap! I'm standing up in my living room cheering right now.

The Democrats are going to beat Trump so badly that he’s going to sue them for defamation after the election results.

So cool. This ball gets to hang out with my dog, my turtle and my uncle Zeke who drove the van and had tickle fights with me when I was a youngster.

LOL. The President- no matter what your political affiliation- should never have to worry about your commute when flying into “your” town. “Hey Michelle, tell Biden I switched our AF1 flight time to a red eye, so I don’t delay TahoeSTi from getting home this evening.”

Lest anyone too young to know might think the draft dodger angle is the biggest insult in this tweet, refusing to call him Ali, and instead insisting on calling him Clay was the racist dog whistle of choice back then. Racist whites refused to do so for years after.

This will be great in 2128 when the Cubs are lamenting that fateful 2016 tattoo by some random twitter dude. “The Curse of the Bad Tattoo” and they’ll still be living the horrible dream they’re living now.

[Touches envelope to forehead]

Quick Ed note: When the lawyer arrived at the bar, Carson turned to Ed and said "Ed? We're done here, right?" And Ed left right away. God, that's perfect.