Two corrections about Harvard:

Granny-style will set you free. Do it.

0.005Ma - 891st Spiderman reboot hits theaters.

He’s truly the shruggie emoticon, incarnate.

Roger, Roger.

Yeah. I typically enjoy Draper’s stuff, but I found it tough to pin down where he was going with this, and what he was trying to say.

And film it for Hard Knocks.

I love that in a rambling, illogical statement, you take “liberal logic” to task.

Douche? No?!? Why?

*Lanier.

I’ve never seen a haircut add as many years to a person as Neymar’s new ‘do.

This is an egregious false equivalency.

Don’t worry. Nobody is as happy as they pretend to be, and we’ll all be dead, soon.

Kobe’s an undeniably great player, but I think people hate him because he’s inauthentic and seems uncomfortable with himself.

Kareem’s “problem” was that he was extremely intelligent and thoughtful and probably wasn’t emotionally intelligent enough to find other ways to connect with teammates who didn’t have similar minds.

NFL players commit crimes at a rate lower than the general population. Don’t fall for the stereotype that all athletes are thugs.

Wait, what’s the deal with “thumb-down” hand jobs?

Nah. It’s all a Rorschach test and what you hear in those tweets says more about you than him.

Yeah, I don’t really get James Harden, either.

Mr. Cocktober.