woooooooooosh!!!!!!!!!!!

Just burn the whole thing down.

Listen, last month you overhauled your entire comment system to prevent people from posting stomach-churning images of overweight whores shoveling a bunch of diarrhea into their mouths, and now you're doing it yourselves? Make up your mind!

Instead, he's decided to quit football and focus on soccer in hopes of maybe being the next Jozy Altidore.

"I can't do it. I can't stand still for that long."

/wanking motion.

Peter King, to restaurant hostess: Hey, did you hear about Peter King's integrity?

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.

How is an owner suspended anyway? Does he have any less ownership during the suspension? Does he have to give up 6 weeks worth of revenue? Does he have to stop being filthy fucking rich for 6 weeks?

Patriots. Mike Reiss. ESPN Boston.

26 of 32 NFL teams also haven't "won a thing" in that timeframe.

They went 16-0 and won the AFC the season after that.

Anyone who's not fully sold on Brady by now can go root for the Browns for some goddamn perspective.

Really, you haven't noticed a pattern of how they are doing every team by division....Come on man, you really do make Pats fans look like shit.

The biggest reason I hate the Jets is because the media thinks that America finds Rex Ryan as interesting as they do. You'll hear some ignorant tease on ESPN like "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT REX RYAN SAID TODAY!" Well, you know what? Outside of the metropolitan New York area, none of us really give a shit about what…

Drew! Slow down! You're going to hurt yourself today.

Woah, slow down with these. People aren't done making fun of the Detroit Lions.

Tom is so used to the Lions losing that he somehow found a way to give them 8 divisional losses in a 4 team division.