What are the odds that in five years Drew winds up in a mental institution whispering "J Bug...Ohhhhh Johnnnyyyyy...Jalen and I..." over and over?

If the Pacman and Money Mayweather can meet up and fight...can we get Drew to go on Simmons podcast? I mean WHO SAYS NO? Amirite?

Barnwell is the worst. When someone farts on the field he has to find a statistical reason for it happening. I'd love to see him and Dikta put in a room together, just to see what happens.

The stats stuff really is starting to go too far in the other direction. Sometimes sports are just fun and unpredictable. All this talk about DVOA and crap like that is becoming too ingrained in a lot of the analysis I read. Not everything can be explained. Deal with it!

Got to be. Considering his age, the age of your average Deadspin readers, and the fact he was in a fraternity in college, 100 percent bet that its Brad Stevens.

Yeah I was kind of half-paying attention and only saw the deer go after the cat, and was curious by the absence of mention. But now I see and...yeah, poor dog.

That was a cat from the video, right? I'm not the only one who saw a cat get owned by the deer?

What is PK getting out of falling on his sword and ruining his reputation for the shield? Are Goodell and his cronies holding his favorite lattes hostage or something?

Was "Pat" trying to show everyone why the entire universe despises Patriots fans? If so, it worked to perfection.

Drew doesn't hate the Patriots or us Pats fans. He's too big of a fan.

Seriously...teams like the Jets and Vikings deserve their own days!

What I love about this hypocritical nonsense is that if Patriots fans complain about not winning dick in the last 9 years, they are (rightfully) called out as being spoiled brats. However, we must add a line in there that they haven't won dick, even though the last nine years is a run that most fan bases would gladly…

If only there was some kind of invention that allowed sound to be heard in one person's head...perhaps through a phone of some sorts.

The Cards are so forgettable that Drew is releasing another team's sucks preview with them today. Says it all!

"I'd rather bareback it with Mike Martz" is now the frontrunner for funniest, out-of-context line from an email during this series.

I love how one fan emails Drew and says they suck for being quiet when Peyton tells them to...and later, another emails Drew and says they suck for not being quiet when Peyton tells them to. WELL WHICH IS IT?!

I hope to God that Brad Johnson story is real.

I got blocked by Bill Barnwell because I had the audacity to tell him that his version of Simmons' trade column for the NFL made no sense and didn't work. He got all sensitive about it even though he put Adrian Peterson, at the time the reigning MVP, at the 28th spot.

It's in the headline

I like how your face is hidden by the shadow in your avatar, Albert. That's a good look for you.