Roger Goodell has suspended each player for two games.

I never read anything at work unless I was tested on it. Which means I only read the playbook. Which is why I also never read the WARNING sticker on the side of the helmet, encouraging us not to do the thing that football coaches tell you to do—butt, ram or spear your opponent—because it may kill you.

Can we all just take a second to appreciate how Madonna goes ever so slightly out of time at 1:14 and how amazing it makes that part? Cool.

Well done.

God? No God.

This needs to be commissioned into a sitcom, pronto.

Great book. Really all of his books are outstanding.

Semi-related: Chiefs fans. It’s going to be nothing but bitching about the pass interference call while refusing to bring up the fact that Rex Burkhead scored two unanswered TDs in a matter of minutes.

Every adult that brings a glove to a game and doesn’t have a kid with them should be put on some sort of list.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

There is only one number one.

Move him south and let Chance pitch a whole fucking game for the White Sox.

The majority of Tool fans are insufferable fart-sniffers. Tool themselves have never clicked for me and I find them rather boring.

Like The Predator showing off a trophy.

Can’t wait for Gritty’s response to this.

I’m all for players getting their money, but MG’s only rushed for 1k yards once, only played a full season once, and only averaged over 4.0 YPC once. Trade him to Buffalo.

Why didn’t they spend enough money so the video didn’t look like a shitty local Indianapolis band?