I’m terrible about warming up and cooling down. I just don’t have the patience for it, and if I’m running in cold weather, I want to start running fast right away to get my body temp up.

Just invite all your neighbors. They’ll be afraid to go to a brown person party, but they won’t complain because they were invited.

I really question the premise that these are the best Saturdays of the year.

It’s not? Oh well.

Same. The last thing I want to see is the effects of an open bar on my asshole coworkers.

Ours is on a Thursday afternoon, 3:00 - 6:00. If we choose not to attend the party, we get to go home. So I just go home at 3:00 and take a nap. Winning.

I mean, how bad can the dirt be? Does anyone really care if Cruise and Travolta are gay? They’re both beyond rich. They can just retire to a private island with their gay shame if they feel that bad about it.

I’m Gen X, and we had it much better than today’s young people do. I had no problem getting a good job right out of college with just an English major. It’s not that easy anymore.

I doubt Guy Ritchie did much actual parenting. Not only did they have nannies, Madonna took the kids on tour with her all the time. He didn’t slow down on the movie making either. His career isn’t great because he’s not a great director.

I don’t even have Madonna for a mother and I want to be stoned all the time.

And he might have some weed.

I’m ready for a Real Housewives of the Cabinet. At least there will be plenty of pinot grigio.

Let’s all apply and Trojan Horse that fucker.

Good lord, that sounds exhausting.

She made her bargain with the devil, and now she’s got to live with it.

I did early voting a few weeks ago, but my state always goes Democrat, so I feel like my vote didn’t really matter.

I switched my Siri to male and British!

I don’t accept the premise that watching TV is a waste of time that could be better spent doing other things. I get entertainment and enjoyment out of it, and some shows are even thought provoking. I already work out and read plenty. I guess if someone never exercises, they would benefit from trading some TV time for…

Tik Tok does still bang.

They’re kind of exotic to white bread me who grew up in the Midwest. Never had them until a few years ago.