1. Does my cat resent me for sending him to live in Kentucky with his grandparents? Or is he grateful and doesn’t miss me at all because it’s more fun there? I can’t tell which is worse?

No, never yay Trump. Never.

Can I have $1 million dollars? I really need it.

It seems like every now and then something comes along that really makes me think that this will be the thing that gets him. That this is it, he’s done. We got him. But...probably not.

Sometimes I feel like ditching Apple, but then I play around with my husband’s Samsung and Android infuriates me. It especially infuriates him because neither of us can figure out how to delete the gazillion of useless apps that came with the phone, random pop-up notifications keep coming up that we can’t seem to shut…

I like this. I’m a full-time student so that has basically been my excuse bank for the past 4 years (“Ahhh, I can’t. Sorry. I have a paper.”), but this is my senior year and i’m graduating in June.

I feel really terrible about saying any of this, but jesus fucking christ I just can’t anymore: I really dislike my husband’s family. They’re basically stupid white trash and I hate every second I have to spend time with them. Everything they talk about makes me cringe and uncomfortable, each parent has had like, 6…

Exactly. Who told James McAvoy he could wear those shorts? Nobody.

I want to get the fuck out of this country.

“Lets all wear our sunglasses”

Thank you for writing this. I’m in the middle of my senior year in college and I don’t have an internship either (because I literally have no time - how the fuck do people have an internship and also go to school full time, wtf) but I know that I want to write and I want a job (no, NEED a job). I don’t really know…

Counterpoint: We need to fucking eliminate Christmas.

Sure, I could see that if it this was the first episode someone ever saw of This Is Us, but anyone who would react with “da fuck?” as their initial reaction that it was some nickname centered around race could just simply watch the earlier episodes and realize the Big Three thing is about the order of how the kids…

YES. The whole entire time I kept yelling, “Why are you fucking doing that? Why did you go there? Why aren’t you wearing gloves? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING”

At this point I am pretty convinced that Melania is an extremely advanced and super life-like android who is starting to develop human emotions and is feeling very conflicted with her growing sadness and longs to escape to a distant planet where other androids have been rumored to go when they realize how terrible…

According to his website, you can view on “Internet PPV”

Neal?

A slice of pumpkin pie is basically a slice of bullshit, BUT if you do what I do because I am a walking giant tub of melting ice cream who constantly thinks of what ways I can take simple foods and make them ultra-fattening and excessive....

How many bullshit, tone-deaf apologies is Lena Dunham going to spew on Twitter before she gets the fucking hint? Lena Dunham thinks she can live her life hiding behind a shield of Black feminists and keep trying to brand herself as some kind of “white (feminist) savior for women of color” when she is anything but. I…

She really does see herself as the ultimate white (feminist) savior, and she is so incredibly fucking obvious and transparent in her bullshit.