True, but I feel like getting fucked by Beast might be kind of depressing. Isn’t he this tortured being, trapped in a Beast body, and wants the world to leave him alone because he feels angry and sad of his hideous Beast-ness? Like, I imagine having sex with Beast would be awkward with him crying the whole time and…

OH my god. His voice. He could be whispering me his Taco Bell order and I would still be dtf.

All this movie has done has made me realize that I would still fuck Dan Stevens even if he was a CGI beast man.

I’m pretty sure I wrote that same exact thing in a Yelp review the first time I had In-n-Out Burger.

lambasting millennials for not moving to places like small towns in Iowa — the logic being that one could still purchase a house in these places without having to be a billionaire.

Living alone after living with shitty roommates almost feels like winning the lottery. While living alone is AMAZING, it blows so hard living any other way after that. Like, once you know how great it is to not have to clean up after other people, peeing with the bathroom door open, walking around naked in your own…

I do, but sometimes I can hear her over them. I’ve been wearing ear plugs so often now that ear wax is getting packed into my ear canal and they hurt all the time. I had to take breaks from wearing the headphones because those started hurting my ears, too, especially if I fell asleep with them on.

They really are. I have some, and I wear foam ear plugs when I sleep or alternate between the two. Sometimes I can fucking hear her when I have earplugs in AND the noise cancelling headphones.

It’s kind of weird that hearing impeachment talk has suddenly brightened my life up, even though I know there’s so many worse things that could happen (i.e., President Pence), and all of this will get dragged on for months and months.  

I have a fantasy of Trump and his clan all weeping and sobbing while dragging suitcases down an aisle of cheering people screaming at them as they gtfo. And people throw trash at their faces.

I feel like this picture should be framed and hung somewhere in the White House.

Dude, get off your obsession with Obama and Clinton. This shit isn’t about them, it’s about YOU.

I feel so many different versions of sadness and anger with this bitch’s bullshit. I’m sad and angry that this hurts public schools (BIG SURPRISE THERE), I’m sad and angry that i’ll probably lose my Perkins Loan, and eventually my subsidized loan. I mean, what’s the point of life if poor people aren’t drowning in…

Wow, I need those in my life. God, I love chips.

ALL dressed?! As in, “I’m all dressed and ready to go the liquor store so I can buy potato chips to eat for dinner”? I’m into that.

Nope!! but considering changing majors now so I can stay in college as long as possible. I want to hang on as long as I can to living a life where I can just roll out of my potato chip crumb-filled dorm bed every day and wipe away the mascara trails off my face before class, since all I do is watch The Office episodes…

Not when there’s $$ to be made, yo! There’s profit to be made in this whole nostalgia bracket.

I want to get into overalls, but I have the body shape of a Dove bar of soap with mini-hot dogs for legs. But I really hate pants and can’t wear dresses every day of my life, so I dunno.

“I will continue to stand strong for men’s rights and the rights of all”

I’m not surprised at all. He’s pretty low in intelligence, why would he try to inject any form of intellect or political insight into his show? It would actually be kind of offputting since it’s idiot Jimmy Fallon, who’s a fucking moron. Shitty fluff is his thing. He sticks to segments like classroom instruments and…