These cheese puns are all gold

He hasn’t said anything and I don’t see them in the trash, so I assume he is eating them and loving it.

I steal slices of my husband’s cheese that he reserves for his lunches, and then replace the slices I took with large Post-It notes hoping he won’t notice.

This is not that outlandish or crazy. I don’t see the big deal. That ugly dress, on the other hand...

I think that’s natural, to worry about him after the fallout. Even though you’re kind of like “Why? Fuck it. Look out for yourself and the kids.” Do you think he would try to take the kids? Sometimes you never know until the possibility presents itself. I’ve known nice and fair people to become very spiteful once they…

I got caught up and stupidly fell for a popular “fad” diet, and me taking it overboard to a scary level, plus my already shitty health, ended up costing me my gallbladder plus $10,000 in medical bills for emergency surgery that i’m going to be paying off forever.

Right? I don’t get it. I mean, no one likes working for someone else. Some people have the skills, time, and put forth the effort to start their own business or try to do something else. But complaining all the time and not knowing what you want to do, just that you “dont want to take orders from a boss” is childish.…

What is making you not immediately leave him? What are the reasons you are staying?

Hey, ‘sup. This my husband, pretty much exactly. It is something that is constantly in the back of my mind. Some days it’s easier to ignore it and not let it bother me, but i’m assuming it’s going to hang around and eat away at me, slowly, until I can’t take it anymore and divorce him.

What is going on with her hair? Did she decide to just grease the top of her head with gel?

Like, a mix of Cillian Murphy and Alexander Skarsgard

I think what’s more funny are all the little things people are pointing out in that terrible video and passing them off as “signs” or evidence. I think she’s just really, really weird.

Seriously. I am panicking, too. When you cut these dumb fucks out, expect to hear some angry, “What?? Why?? It’s just politics!” Nope. Nope. Nope.

I will seriously be doing this. I have no problem humiliating him in front of his other idiot friends.

It is. I don’t think he actually realizes, or has truly thought about, how beyond terrible a Trump presidency would be, if he were to get elected. But this guy’s also a hipster doofus moron and from all the times i’ve interacted and talked to him, he really has no idea how the government or politics work, and has…

One of my husband’s idiot friends who I have been forced to be friends with on Facebook made some post on FB this morning about how angry he is about DWS and feeling forced to vote for Hillary and he hates it so he’s apparently just going to vote for Trump because “Bernie or Bust”. It’s just sad and it kind of ruined…

This is lame but I got a really great haircut and my girl showed me how to replicate it at home, and I keep trying to do it myself but I can’t replicate what she did and I kind of want to scream. Instead, I drink red wine about it.

NO. No more god damn musicals.

Drink it? Pat it onto my face? Inject it into my pores? I’ve heard drinking Tumeric is also really good for you.

Picking is so satisfying. I even have a disgusting affinity for watching extraction videos on Youtube (I am so gross), which probably doesn’t help at all.