A chicken fried steak sandwich? Wouldn’t the gravy make a sandwich almost impossible? Or are you a heathen who doesn’t get a chicken fried steak with white gravy?

Now the NFL needs to clarify its two-pump rule.

Yeah, but people like you and I can reach things on the top shelf. It’s a trade-off I’ve learned to accept.

Chris Cillizza and Van Jones already are off and running. Fuck having dignity, right? Gotta make nice so they can keep attending those DC cocktail parties. Fucking whores, all of them.

He manages to go an hour without attacking the media, and the shit-for-brains DC press corps and commentariat fall all over themselves praising the motherfucker. Goddammit.

Best sci-fi maybe, but Die Hard is the best action movie ever.

Bill Simmons wanted ESPN to sign her a while ago. Maybe he can poach her for HBO.

Meanwhile, Skip Bayless and All Takes Matter continue to get less than 20 percent of the ratings of the average Paw Patrol episode.

“obvious morality plays that bash you over the head with tackling! important! topics!”

I have never seen a major video game company continue to step on its own dick quite like Nintendo has. It’s impressive if you think about it.

Welcome to Deadspin, Bill Simmons!

Everyone should want to be in close proximity to Rihanna.

I had read the reason they did the trade now was to avoid sending what would have been a late lottery pick to the Bulls, which would have happened if the Kings kept sort-of winning. (The pick is top-10 protected.)

Shows how out of the loop I am. I didn’t even know they were quits. I do, however, know Susan Sarandon can fuck off forever.

She’s not as good a pure singer as someone like Adele, but she’s a cultural phenomenon in a way Adele can’t touch.

Semi-OT: whatever happened to Megan Follows?

How are you out of the grays, you mouth-breathing idiot?