Margaret Atwood was on point when she said,

The problem is guns. Not mental illness, not misogyny, not male entitlement. Those are other problems, with other solutions. The problem causing mass shootings is guns.

Bacon jalapeño mac and cheese: not available in Storrs.

Here’s one the NFL did.

Raffi Torres has had an incredibly impressive career. He is the only player to ever be a Shark, Predator and a Devil at the same time.

His ability to pronounce “r’s” never played well with the locals.

No, “Everything happens for a reason” people are the WORST people. I agree with the rest of your list though.

That’s just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

“Michelle and Ryan’s nups, which took place on a remote island in Thailand that could only be accessed by “traditional wooden long-tail boats,” had everything: escort cards calligraphed atop “foraged river rocks,” hand-dyed silk flags for no reason, food poisoning, bridesmaids that knew how to sing, and macaque…

No one gives a shit.

Now be fair. It’s been scientifically proven that melanin exhaled through laughter decreases railroad efficiency.

12 million gallons for one home is a drop in the bucket to you? Get over yourself.

I’m sure, as a Republican politican, Jeff Flake has also been an asshole at some point about something...but god damn, he deserves praise on calling out this waste of money.

A møøse once bit my sister.

Don’t make us sack you.

Mynd you moose (love)bites can be pretti nasti...

Clearly it was the beavers.

My husband and I started dating in college and the summer after we got together I went to visit him and stayed the weekend, so I went with him to the Sunday meeting they have every week for the summer day camp he works for. One of his coworkers was like “so, you’re from Canada?” and I was like ummm... no?