He strikes me as being a really drooly, sloppy kisser.

It's my belief, and I wish I was kidding, that a coterie of female tab editors love to pick on her because she represents everything they want and can't have.

My girlfriend calls that being in the turd trimester.

I'm butt pregnant with a dump.

Affluenza is a life-threatening disease for everyone who doesn't have it.

Twenty-seven, you say?

I think the printer might actually top when she used K's scissors to stir her coffee. That was so bizarre. It was like she went out of her way to step on your printer.

Ugh I wish you didn't remind me of this lol. I don't want to think about that! I will never forget the look of horror on our coworker's face when she told me. I'm REALLY surprised this didn't wind up on those monthly company "incident reports" that we got from the corporate office's IT department.

Oh I think you got it covered. One thing I remember from this incident is when we had a meeting with our Mean Girl publisher to review the pagination and placement of all the ads in the upcoming issue, after Hummus Prostitute was fired.

I second that.

Tell me more about hummus prostitution, please.

If you don't tell the hummus story I might not be able to go on living.

I like hummus. A lot. I'd consider prostitution for hummus.

I have to admit to occasionally stirring my coffee with inappropriate instruments, both in public and in private. Addiction is like that. :-)

Seriously, you should post the story about the salesperson who tried to steal trade from that Greek restaurant after she got fired.

Miss you too Lauren! ;-)

This sounds like my last company. I am convinced that they call a local nonprofit/prison reintegration program instead of posting a classified ad when they had job openings. Several of the admin staff were on meth, the sales assistant had done serious time for robbery and another had a dishonorable military discharge.

A couple of the strange (and gross) things I witnessed at the last magazine I worked at:

Things I have experienced as a Disney cast member:

You know how there's that Winnie the Pooh cartoon (I think it might be the Blustery Day one?) where he is eating honey out of a hive and then spits bees out like bullets? This is what I picture Blake Lively doing. Only with babies.