nancy what the fuck are you talking about please

unrelated: but now every time i rip a bad fart i’m gonna be like “sorry for that but the devil was in my butt.”

I was under the impression that if the devil is in your mouth, it’s more of a sexy thing than a racist thing. What kind of fan fiction do I write now?!

The Republican Party would like to express its appreciation to the New Blacks for their work on its behalf.

i am going to respectfully, but vehemently, disagree with you on that one :)

...cuz of the good deed or cuz of the colbeard?

Tweet of the day:

I do not find him charming at all. His smarm makes me queasy.

BRB, out to take out a second mortgage.

Have you ever taken in a photo? I used to do that all the time. Something from a magazine or printed out from the internet. Then all you have to do it say, “like this.”

I haven’t gotten my hair done for a year now because I hate bullshitting for 2 hours while someone gives me a dye & cut. Continuous small talk with a person I barely know seriously makes me wanna freak the eff out. I wish there were salons that advertised quiet stylists! Like I think I’d even pay extra for less…

If you thought it was perfect satire then that’s ok, but the amount of people not sure or taking offense seems to imply that this generally failed. It takes so long to get off the ground that it only finds itself near the end of the piece and doesn’t have the comedic/satirical turn early enough to get the reader on…

With all due respect, if this is satire, it’s very poorly done. Most readers of this site are educated, bright, and quite humorous. If this was even a moderately well-written satire piece, more readers would have realized it.

If she had ordered a Hawaiian pizza, she would have been on her own.

This is a horrible situation and I am very happy this woman is alright.

And did it better.

Yeah Rihanna already killed this look and burried it dead.

My only complaint is the I Dream of Jeanie ponytail. I think she looks objectively amazing, but I do agree it’s not an original look.

I’ve very much in the “less is more” camp when it comes to fashion, and the whole “Here’s a dress that makes me look naked!” thing always annoys me. I don’t think it’s prudery, exactly—I’m definitely not offended or outraged. I just don’t ever think wearing clothing that to emphasize how naked you look makes anyone…

Yeah. I mean, just go naked already and have done with it. This is tacky AND it’s same-old, same-old.