But what college did Ryan Fitzpatrick attend?

Except for the fact that:

Too late, it was disturbing before they got there.

Yeah, but Bowling Green was done by a liberal, don’t you remember?  Check mate.

Getting whacked with a vacuum tube? That really sucks.

Those idiots are going to have a shit harvest next year if they don’t put the actual kid in the fire. 

The only acceptable headline is "HEY DARNOLD!!!" with "Move it Football Head!!" in smaller letters underneath. 

He went to prison, I think he got what he deserved. 

I wish I could upvote this more than once. Well, without resorting to creating another burner, anyways.

She has all that money she didn’t earn to protect from the evils of socialism and other people getting things they “didn’t work for.”

The cool thing is that the humble people of St. Louis commit homicide the right way and act like they’ve been there before. You don’t see St. Louis on the news showboating after every blood soaked weekend. They just quietly go about their business of snuffing out their own. 

This is a normal excuse. Move on, find a new slant. 

Davis looks like a Ghoul shop keeper from the Fallout universe.

Never not funny.

“All I’m saying is a ‘no’ is just a ‘yes’ that needs a little convincing.”

I dunno, the way Gomez stayed down suggests two guys, one cup.

And when you get there, be sure to say hi to Art Briles.

“Drake needs to be careful here; coming at Perkins can ruin your life.”