Nissan Rogue. I've softened on the new looks, but the Talltima sort of represents in my mind the SUV-ification of all things. It handles like a bad 90s videogame and the drivers typically do Altima things with them. I know it's not a bad car, they just irritate me on a cellular level.

Love the Tolkien quote you snuck in there! :)

As a Jalop tourist I am disappointed there are no pics of the Bug.

People who want to spend their commutes texting should never be focus grouped for anything car-related, ever.

I love the looks I get from “real men” whenever I pull up at the big-box hardware or farm/fleet stores in my dull grey minivan with the pink kids car seat and “They See Me Rollin’” D20 sticker. They must think my penis is an innie.

I also love the looks I get when I easily put 40 2x4s and assorted building materials…

Nailed it.