If Donald Trump has taught me anything it’s that nothing matters anything goes. He’s prob just numbing the pain.

Uninformed take.

I thiiiinkthat’s the point.

He should only be owned as a pitcher.

He also took this photo:

Is that Drunk Uncle’s ex-wife?

“...like a termite that eats corn instead of wood: in one ear and out the other.”

So two people on the same team as Lebron have developed mental health issues? Copy that.

Men! Ugh. I mean, am I right?!?!

Gees. That’s just so sad. I never had to think that way growing up and can’t imagine ever having to.

0:20 - that kid has other things on his mind...

Dan, would you say you’re a degenerate gambler or are you just riding a losing streak?

Pats fan.

Rafa winning (blank) amount of Grand Slams in aggregate is akin to (insert name) hitting 50 home runs in a season but playing for the Rockies. You might catch some away from home, but everyone knows why the totals are as high as they are.

Eww. You smoke cigarettes? Disgusting.

To recap, Bellichick is at a girls college lacrosse game. Roger that.

“I’m sorry did you say there was a person out.”

I believe he was motioning to the Deadspin staff to stay in their box. Baseball reporting is complicated after all.

Is gmail still in beta? I believe it’s been that way for 10+ years now.

THAT WAS FUNNY?!