That means he likes you, you idiot. Can't you take a sign? This is 6th grade all over again.

Too many bumps and you'll find yourself out of the league. Just ask Lamar Odom.

Dozens of grayed commenters staring intently at that gif, just trying to find a double dribble.

I don't want to overreact, but....

Things You Should Have In Your Closet By The Time You Are 30:

Off to check your story, kthx.

Your town ran out of strangers?

Hmm... is joke?

Watching films alone in an empty cinema, in a seat just towards the back in the centre of the row, is one of my greatest joys. I will go with approved movie buddies however.

If I was single, I would literally never turn the TV off. Not even to sleep.

"I am writing this while drinking rum and eating Cadbury mini eggs in bed."

Step 1: do whatever you want. Step 2: repeat every goddamn day.

I do that in American. I am British. IS THIS THE TWILIGHT ZONE?!?!

Talking to myself out loud in a British accent. I am not British.

This could mean taking your pants off to eat a beautifully arranged cheese plate,

Don't you mean #FISTworldproblems? I'll see myself out (slams door).

Whelp that's what you get for being the guy who started the screen fist bump.

#Firstworldproblems

Yo dawg....sorry man, had to.