First, What if Harry Styles wrote "dear future husband"??? HAHAH. Not even going to google it because I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Perrie Edwards, Zayn Malik's fiancée, is getting Yoko Ono'd by 1D fans.

Yes. I would watch a Doris show. With Eddie as her quirky, yet deeply philosophical neighbor.

my sister only just came back from her meeting.

With each and every passing day, I thank whoever is in charge that I did not grow up during the time of facebook, twitter, vine, instagram, whatsap, et all.

i miss being a teen and having the energy to experience strong emotions over shit that doesn't matter

If "Watching teens melt down on social media" was on our March Madness bracket, it would win in a LANDSLIDE

not super cool of you to doxx the Jezebel comment section like that.

my niece is crying so hard her mom is letting her skip school tomorrow

"I am leaving because I want to be a normal 22-year-old who is able to relax and have some private time out of the spotlight"

Dude. Let's liberate her.

I'd vote her in for president before her whack ass dad.

HIS WIFE WORKS AT GOLDMAN SACHS I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS

"One oval-shaped suit, please."

shout out to Republicans who make fun of Obama for wearing dad jeans while Ted wears...whatever the fuck this is.

Please star this comment if you think it's actually fucking adorable that one of Ted Cruz's daughter's first sentence was "I like butter."

VOMIT

Absolutely not. This is unacceptable. This is America. It is 2015.

what in the actual fuck is this shit

Clearly, she smelled something. Something that really got her attention. But hey, I'm just a woman, which means I'm a defective man.