I followed a guy who followed me out of politeness, bc the 21st c. is turning out to be a massive joke. Anyway, he posted snarky "see yah!" tweets once a day with unfollowers he was unfollowing. Finally I got sick of it and unfollowed him and announced to my minuscule following that I was unfollowing some dbag. Then I…

Nope, It's basically Friday afternoon. We get to have fun SOMETIMES.

I saw that, exclaimed "THAT CAN'T BE A REAL NAME" and then was disappointed that it wasn't. Even I don't know what I want.

Pull up your pants and get off my lawn!

I have a feeling that if they were asked a direct question and tried to respond at the same time it would go like:
So what's your favorite color?

They probably also finish each other's sandwiches.

haha OH MILEY! *cue 80's sitcome laughter*

At this point, that's actually a federally-accepted legal defense.

I prayed to Floyd last week, and now I'm making $8K a week working from home!

You seem hostile. Would you say this is your typical response?

Nope, he lets me out of the attic to go to work & stuff, as long as I don't set things on fire.

Gotta threadjack with some sweetness.

But of course! Have your people call my people.

They're posturepedic.

*serves you some more, with a side of bitter greens and po' boys*

Push it off the deck and into the sea as a sacrifice to Poseidon?

Everything is weird and I'm frightened.

At least his name is accurate