In the closet... child playing with Legos... excuse me frantically taking notes. Do go on.

Nup. Different dickheads.

Have you ever seen Watership Downs? God, even hearing the song 'Bright Eyes' makes me teary and anxious now.

LAWYERED.

It's a real thing that people believe! Some of my friends go to a church where all sorts of weird things happen (weird imo anyway), and they told me about this gold dust thing. I looked up videos on YouTube and there are people claiming to have gold dust on them because of contact with God. I couldn't really see it. I…

I believe the amount of hairspray required for a true 80's hairstyle may have been a key cause of the hole in the ozone layer.

Can I come hug your cat too please?

What made you change your mind about trolling and write this today?

LAWYERED.

Oh me too! That poor sad little face. I might need to queue up behind crazy lady to ask for a hug with him.

Hm. My scoring system is wilder and less logical than this. I say -fiftymillion points here.

Just -7? I'd like to hear about your scoring system.

I know things like this break my heart so I deliberately didn't watch it... but then it came on the tv! I immediately burst into tears, grabbed my phone, and donated. Ever since I had my baby, anything with babies makes me cry. You know what, I'm just going to give right in and swap channels onto One Born Every Minute…

Oh. I thought it said ivy. Carry on.

It's not the same thing though. And making it sound like the same thing: "biological baby or adopted baby still = baby" is insulting. It takes a different mindset to adopt a child, there's years of waiting, of testing, frequently there's trips overseas, there's scrutiny from authorities, in lots of cases you have a…

Jeans... in the freezer??

Agreed. JEZEBEL WE NEED MORE HAPPY STORIES!!

Oh bless him. Bless him a million times.

You'll want AT LEAST two formal tiaras and one casual one. Pearls are non-negotiable, of course, and I'd add at least one set of pearls.

So. Much. Respect.