Me too...y'all got some classy folk and I'm from Florida. 

Holy shit, you should have shared that in the scary story contest.

My aunt shit her pants once on a walk. Good thing she was wearing tight bike shorts. Another time, she took a dump in the woods. That’s what happens when you eat right before you work out!

Starred for having a greyhound!

At least 16 years! I might have one, ok two.

Did you?

My mom was right about one thing, “men will move mountains.” If I was unsure about a man or relationship, that was her advice. If he’s throwing up obstacles, he doesn’t really want it and bending over backwards to overcome them all just gets you someone who will roll with it only as long as it's easy for them. 

Or a 46 year old married lady who definitely won't leave her husband after the fling!

Strangely enough, my uncle also committed suicide in his work truck. He was behind on payments, so it was repossessed.

Ahhhhh... balloons terrify me, so you win. I mean, the whole story was terrifying but you added a GD balloon.

I am a weirdo who looks too deeply at details, but your parents switched bedrooms with you? Instead of just buying a new knob?

The people I see with “homeless, God bless” signs at my local intersections are also working hard. Long hours on their feet, perfecting their limp (it changes sides), darting in and out of traffic, and keeping in costume. I don’t respect them either.

I often feel my age, but I work with it. I go to shows, try new things, and generally try to have a good time. Maybe not in the same ways, but I’m having fun and I’m super cool even though I embarrass my teens on a regular basis.

I saw Nirvana by accident because they opened for Sonic Youth in Dublin, summer 1992. Best fucking show of my life.

1- Thank you for acknowledging my terrible adolescence.

MCM is also mostly brown! Usually walnut, down to the walls. 

Ahhhhh.... that's the story I remembered! How bizarre and so sad. 

I am a complete nobody and I do not post the names or pictures of strangers online. It's not hard to realize that it's wrong. 

This reminds me of a story from the late 80s/early 90s of a teen girl would show up at churches claiming to be a runaway from a satanic cult. She claimed that she was raped and the cult murdered her babies.

Let’s see...summer after 7th grade I went on weight watchers with my mom. I lost 11lbs, which was almost enough to not be considered disgusting by boys. I even briefly caught the eye of Lance, a total hottie, until I cleared my throat in class one day and he thought I farted.