*radiator dumps coolant*

I genuinely wasn’t sure if this was photoshopped or not for a minute

Honestly, they just need to give Eugene his own show and call it a day.

Its what I say to my BF after period sex.

Option 3 is to find the Alpha car in the parking lot first thing, and then crash into it, just beat the hell out of it...then the other cars know to respect you.

In Belize I knew this whole family led by a Grandmother, and she and her dozen (approx) grandchildren would PILE into the room, squash into the couch and watch all the Golden Girls episodes that came on mid-morning, about three in a row, I think. The kids fucking LOVED the GGs and laughed their tiny asses off.

I’m falling cab over wheels for this thing.

Neither will she ever get my vote.

You are the problem then.

“Hangry” is a term that is on regular rotation in my vocab. Also, Bernadette’s diet sounds horrid. Grapefruit and coffee for breakfast sounds like a recipe for acid reflux.

If you can’t have fucking crackers in your home, then you are dealing with an issue bigger than simple weight consciousness.

Because if it’s around, I’ll eat it. I share a KIND bar sometimes with my assistant, and that’s great because then you have half of the calories.

All food is finger food if you’re Bobby.

University of Southern Cornholio.

You don’t know who Cary Elwes is?

The 3 rule means I don't get to have dinner or I don't make it fresh.

I get it but the most vulnerable people overlap with “people who don’t have the means to move to a better place.”

“When I was in school, everyone called me Ann Cooder. It was only years later that I found out that was a term for a bagina. I think it is wrong for people to know what a bagina is so I am going to defund everything I can to prevent little girls from learning about baginas.”