Yeah. I wouldn’t spend that much on a legit gift, let alone a prank one.

As someone who developed early (C cup by age 12, also tall) believe me, I know about men just deciding how much you “owe” them due to your appearance.

It says a lot about how wretched our world has become that when I read the stories about those massage parlors, the most shocking part to me was finding out some of the trafficked women were in their forties and fifties. Not only does that imply they’ve been held prisoner for decades, I was genuinely surprised to hear…

Seriously. Ryan is that friend you should have dropped after high school but he’s still around.

Crawl spaces are designed, in theory, to provide access to things like pipes and electrical wiring in houses without basements. Otherwise you’d have to tear up the floors every time repairs were needed.

Or crack open the dried salmon bag.

Turkeys are a menace to man and object.

Very much so (grew up in Eastern Oregon)

We’re having a Halloween in July viewing party later this month to pacify my husband’s longing for his favorite holiday. The only downside being is he can’t make up his mind which movies to watch so we’ll have to haul a bunch of DVDs to our friends’ house.

Meth gonna Gresham.

Seriously, this story would have been five times weirder had it contained the sentence “Spaghetti the cat climbed into the officers’ arms and purred contentedly.”

The 80s were the decade of pain and darkness as kids’ entertainment.

If she tried to argue that she wasn’t guilty due to mental disease or defect, she’d need to prove that her mental conditions at the time she told him to get back in the truck were such that she could not recognize that doing so was wrong.

I dunno: I think people in general have always been latently dumb, as it were, but before social media the desire for most was to hide this dumbness. Nowadays it seems like that has been reversed and the new thing is to be as blatantly, obnoxiously stupid as publicly as possible.

Nothing says “okay to sleep with a fourteen year old” like your entire village dying of the plague.

Molasses Swamp is a nightmare realm.

Kelly your scrawny chicken drug arms are NOT going to win this fight. Back up.

You are doing God’s work.