“I’m first in line to grope the women and children, asshole!”

Soooo...he’s from The Village of the Damned? Those kids look severely malnourished. Like, CPS needs to step in severe.

Gnarly.

Man, I really haven’t seen that one in a while.

And that’s what he was doing in public.

It’s like the opposite experience of reading Dirt Bag and realizing that no only do you have no friggin’ idea who the gossipees are, you don’t even care because they’re all ten years old.

And then later as Death in another Twilight Zone classic!

Wait, there are people who didn’t know that?

Seriously. Like, a full on hammerhead shark wearing a suit.

Every clinic in the country that isn’t this one is probably fielding tons of panicked calls, so I can see sending out a “we are NOT them and here is why” reassurance letter.

Technically I think so? They gestated at the same time with the same mom, much like fraternal twins who didn’t get put through this grinder would be.

I’m sure a lot of those island resorts have gardens where the soil is suspiciously rich.

Or Dump’s line, “She’s not the HOT daughter! Who cares!”

Take your damn star and go.

Said it before and I’ll say it again: the GOP would step over your dying body to sexually assault your child any day of the week, and don’t anybody ever forget it.

Enjoy, you scumbag. Every day for the rest of your life.

Unless you’re that guy who murdered the seventeen year old, posed for photos, and had Dump get him off scott free.

Dump’s horrendous fantasy of success must include a generically “beautiful” spouse in order to complete the full set of “winner” action figures?

I assume a rich two time college dropout who can get you all the underage trafficked girl-flesh your black withered heart desires gets those teaching jobs.

I thought people gave up on that dream right around the same time the IT’S HAPPENING memes petered out post each new and depressing scandal.