“As far as we know the other two are yours but...don’t buy any matching sets of three tee shirts for a while, ya feel me?”

Social media has transformed our lives into a never ending high school.

Bird Box just isn’t picking them off fast enough.

What if they only found out a decade later due to medical issues or something that revealed the genetic difference? Man, those parents might even be arrested for kidnapping or something before it was figured out.

Not to mention the incredible legal quagmire: were the embryos property? If so, if the birth mother refuses to give them up is she guilty of theft? But if the now born babies are people and their genetic parents want them (as is highly likely since they were trying to have kids and these are their offspring) would she…

And were those triplets genetically theirs or was that another fuckup? This setup is like musical chairs in hell.

I was also an adoptee, and back when I was an infant they made a big deal about trying to “match” you to your adoptive parents so “no one would know.” 

This is straight up Handmaid-by-carelessness shit. It’s in a way even worse than if the clinic or a doctor had done it on purpose because then at least you’d be able to say “this person is a demented sociopath and I have a place to focus my rage.” This kind of “whoopsie, mislabeled the eggs, it was a long week” kind…

Jerry, you’re like every gossip site distilled into its purest form.

Former Washington State governor Gary Locke has publicly announced he will refuse to answer--write “I refuse to answer” on the form, and encourages everyone else to do the same.

*collapses happily*

I need jerry_netherland’s take on this IMMEDIATELY.

Or he insisted on posting it anyway and they had to wrestle the damn thing out of his tiny hands again.

Until they all stroked out or got fatty liver disease from having to eat so many cold, booger-textured  Big Macs.

IMMEDIATE FOLLOW

I just call her Mel.

“Civil rights are important and I’m sure our super duper Supreme Court will decide on that Brown Vs Schools thing soon.”

Man, not only did the Netherlands lose, they have to have their uniform associated with the pile of shampoo-soaked hair wadding from a bathtub drain crouching in the White House.

Well, I certainly don’t enjoy feeling ashamed even in my own home, and won’t pretend it would feel like a learning experience at the time I was enduring it in public.

One of those “suicides” where he shoots himself fifteen times, then jumps off a bridge?