Isn’t the NRA almost bankrupt? That should change some senators’ tunes right quick.

So these two are banging, right? They just get loaded up on blow and bang?

This is the kind of thing Stan and Roger would dream up on American Dad. Where it’s supposed to be satire.

So, he’s still snorting coke, everybody gets that, right? 

Or a gorgeous, rock-stupid character on a TV show that switches from guitar to boxing when his girlfriend’s mobster dad isn’t trying to kill him.

And don’t forget: before this she was a successful actress. The motto The Show Must Go On is real; women have performed in entertainment days after giving birth on our TVs and in movies, onstage and in concert, for decades. 

I USED THIS POEM AT MY WEDDING

Seriously; she’s straight off the set of Westworld.

*immediately hands everything over to the Russians*

Yeaahhhhh....I love how “some” of what she did was wrong. Uh huh.

Yep, back East to PRISON.

Man, it was bad enough with Fyre Festival, which was basically a Mad Scientist movie where hubristic incompetents dug their own graves with glee and piles of blow. This is more like some sad old warlock trying to raise a ghoul from the dead. 

That keep falling down and bunching under her arches while her panties ride up her crack.

But don’t you understand she’s just scared of the bears?

Florida Man has met his true love.

Must be cut with a nice acidic sauce.

Hillary! *crosses fingers*

So nobody else is having full on Judy Blume Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing flashback????

Couldna happened to a more deserving bunch of racist, misogynistic, self-dick shooting morons. 

Apparently Mueller and Barr are old friends: their wives went to school together, they attended each others’ children’s weddings, etc. I would bet Mueller honestly managed to convince himself that Barr wouldn’t pull this level of slimy dodge ‘ems.